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*This article is an excerpt and edited version of the "Parenting and Discipline with Young Children" seminar and consultation held in 2018.
*Available in English and Chinese versions
Q. I'm having trouble not eating (1 year old)
I have a strong sense of self-assertion and absolutely refuse to eat anything I don't want. If forced, I will just spit it out.
I am struggling because I can't eat Western foods like fruits and stews at all.
Since there are things that cannot be eaten at the nursery, the teachers are currently accommodating us in the 0-year-old class, but...
In the next one-year-old class, there will be snacks, so if something is served as a snack, it means that it cannot be eaten at all.
I am worried that it might not be enough.
A.
Children's eating habits change as they grow, so I think it's fine to be patient and trust that they will eventually eat what they need.
Meals are meant to be enjoyed, right? When we eat joyfully, our appetite increases.
But when I'm told, 'Eat, eat,' I get nervous and end up eating even less.
"Eat, eat!" has the opposite effect.That's it.
The person I met in their late twenties only had edible vegetables, which were just white leeks.
The reason is that my mother wanted to raise a child who doesn't have any dislikes.
As a result of being given various things to put in my mouth since I was little, I completely stopped accepting vegetables.
But of course, they didn't make white-haired leeks for a 2 or 3-year-old child.
This is something I've never been forced to eat, so I can eat this much.
As a result of being forced to eat everything, everyone ended up rejecting it. It's a rejection from the heart.
That can happen, so anywayIt's better to stop forcing them to eat..
When my older brother or sister dislikes vegetables and says, 'You should eat it, you should eat it,' I end up joining the group that refuses to eat them.
The younger child watching learned that eating vegetables makes their mother happy, and they don't want to eat what their older siblings avoid.
You will end up eating everything.
About that much,Eating is influenced by psychological factors for children..
The best way is,It's about seeing your mom and dad enjoying their meal and saying, 'This is delicious.'
I wonder why kids can't appreciate this deliciousness~
For children who want to imitate everything, do they really say something that tastes this bad is delicious?
Even though I think that way, I gradually start to eat it.
Another thing is,When you take even a small bite of something you dislike or are not good at
"You took a bite!" "I'm so happy you enjoyed what your mom made."
When my mom says she's happy, that alone motivates me to eat.
Respecting my preferences and feelings at the moment, and then making an effort to take at least a bite or two,
Mom will be happy.
Children are, above all, those who want to make their mothers happy.
What makes a child happiest is knowing that their mother is happy above all else.
When you take a bite and say, 'This is delightful,' it enhances the experience of eating.
I think it would be great if you could enjoy doing those things.
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Advisor: Yoshiko Uchida (Child Psychology Counselor)
Since 1973, I have been providing consultation services at several public health centers in Tokyo. Since 1998, I have been running the "Children's Consultation Room: Momo's Room," where I hold group counseling sessions for issues such as school refusal, delinquency, and social withdrawal. I have also served as a part-time lecturer at Rikkyo University and as an advisor for NHK Radio's telephone consultation program, "Children's Heart Consultation." I have given numerous lectures at parenting circles across the country, as well as at meetings for parents considering school refusal and at kindergartens. My published works include 'Counselor Ryoko's Parenting Mysteries,' 'Q&A on Young Children's Lives and Hearts,' and 'Reluctance to Attend School.'