Effective Discipline for Young Children

*This article is an excerpt and edited version of the lecture titled "How to Interact and Discipline Young Children" held in 2019.

* Available in English and Chinese versions

 

 

The best way to teach is by example.

 

Children with limited language comprehension skills,

Understanding through words can be challenging, so when someone says, 'Do it this way' or 'Do it that way,' it doesn't quite resonate.

 

The best way to teach is by example.

Parents eat using a spoon and fork right in front of you.

Learning through observation is essential, so sharing meals together is very important.

 

However, my father is usually too busy to be around at mealtime.

Mom is busy taking care of the children's meals and can't sit down and eat calmly together.

 

"My child gets up and walks around right away and doesn't sit still," they say.

Upon closer listening, I found out that the mother is walking around while her child is serving.

When a mother is busy bringing things from the kitchen or cleaning up after a child spills something,

Children tend to mimic and move around according to the example set for them.

 

In such cases, try to postpone cleaning up the mess and sit down to eat with your child instead.

It's hard to see when sitting side by side, so if you face each other and your mother sits calmly while eating

Children will imitate what they see and just sit down, no matter what.

Even while spilling, they start to eat while looking at their mother.

Children model their behavior after what adults and parents do.

 

Children model themselves after the people they love.

So, Mom and Dad,Children observe everything you do,

Knowing that people learn by absorbing information is 80% of effective training.

 

Parents should be mindful of their language and maintain politeness during meals.

When you go about your daily life thinking, "There is a child who looks up to me as a role model," they will learn from that.

Discipline will naturally become a part of you.

 

Say 'Good morning' when you wake up, 'Good night' before you sleep, and 'Welcome home, Dad. Thank you for your hard work.'

We will learn to use everyday words, express appreciation for others, and establish boundaries in our lives.

 

Discipline isn't just about punishment. It's about being a good role model.

Additionally, children often admire those who are older than them, so kids with siblings look up to their older brothers and sisters as role models.

Having good role models nearby is the foundation of effective training.

 

 

Praise what has been accomplished instead of getting angry, scolding, or hitting.

 

Many people think that discipline means scolding.

While anger, scolding, and hitting are methods of discipline,

In fact, it's a simplistic approach with limited effectiveness.

 

When yelled at in a scary voice and harshly reprimanded, I stop because I'm afraid of getting scolded, but whether this is right or wrong,

There is little information on what to do next.

 

If you stop because you're scared, you'll stop for that moment, but you'll end up repeating the same thing again.

You tend to act out when there is no one to reprimand you.

 

Living with family at home and adapting to the rules and manners of society once you step out into the world.

Humans form societies.

How to judge, understand, and internalize what is acceptable and unacceptable in society

Discipline is about teaching children.

 

You're doing a great job eating just like Mom and Dad!

"Turn around after changing, look at your mother's clothes, the tag should be on this side,"

If you do it properly on your own, you'll be told, 'You did a great job putting it on, that's exactly right.'

When shown as an example, it's very clear that this is how it should be done.

 

By teaching how to do things and acknowledging and praising what they do well, various aspects will positively contribute to the child's judgment and understanding skills.

 

So,The foundation of discipline is to acknowledge and praise what has been accomplished.

It's not just about praising once; it's about saying, 'You're doing well today too, that's great, you're getting better and better.'

Gain confidence by repeatedly having it acknowledged as your ownThis can happen.

 

For children, being recognized and respected by their parents fosters a sense of self-esteem.

This leads to the idea of closely observing what those around us are doing and trying to imitate it.

A channel will open up to incorporate various things that align with growth and the situation.

 

 

Preventing the Gateway to Abuse

 

So, does that mean you shouldn't yell, hit, or raise your voice? In emergency situations, it may be necessary.

It's necessary to quickly raise your voice and scold, saying things like, 'Hey, that's dangerous!' to stop someone.

It's like hitting the brakes suddenly.

 

It's not that it's absolutely impossible,Injuring oneself, causing harm to others, or breaking things,

In truly dangerous situations, such unconventional tools are necessary, and they should be used as exceptional methods.

 

Being able to control someone by hitting them is, in a way, a quick and easy method to achieve your goals.

Once violence is used, it tends to be used repeatedly.

 

Dominate the opponent by striking and instilling a sense of fear.

In doing so, children will follow out of fear to protect their physical and emotional safety.

 

Using violence as a quick and effective solution can open the door to abuse if you're not careful.

I would like you to keep in mind that hitting should be considered an exceptional action.

 

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Advisor: Yoshiko Uchida (Child Psychology Counselor)

Since 1973, we have been providing consultation services at several public health centers in Tokyo, and since 1998, we have been running the "Children's Consultation Room: Momo's Room."

We hold group counseling sessions for issues such as school refusal, delinquency, and social withdrawal. I have also served as a part-time lecturer at Rikkyo University and as an advisor for NHK Radio's phone consultation program, "Children's Mental Health Counseling."

Numerous lectures at parenting circles across the country, support groups for parents considering school refusal, and kindergartens. Author of the book 'Counselor Ryoko's Parenting is a Mystery to Solve.'

"Q&A on Young Children's Lives and Emotions" "Reluctance to Attend Nursery and School"